You’ve heard the advice to always know your audience before you create an ad, write a blog post, or compose an email newsletter. I’d like to take that one step further and encourage you to consider your role as well. What cultural expectations already exist in the relationship you have with your customer/client? What role do you want to have with your potential clients/customers? Social media is built around creating, renewing, and nurturing relationships and role expectations matter deeply. If you step out of accepted or expected roles, you could be shunned. Embracing a genuine and appropriate role helps establish mutually satisfying relationships.
Let me give you a few examples.
One social site for college alumni reminds me of chatting with a grandma who knows what everyone in her family is doing and wants to tell you all about it. She’s always displaying new photos and she’s happy to pass along your news, too. She likes getting everyone together and then standing back, stepping in just to keep the conversations flowing and respectful. She doesn’t ask for money. She might make a few discrete suggestions to me privately, such as through a direct e-mail solicitation, but never in front of everyone else. The social site is the alumni’s area and not the development office’s. Development might learn a bit about my interests and then contact me because of them, but they don’t intrude upon the “family” space.
A web site and forum devoted to caregivers of Alzheimer’s and other dementia suffers plays a role very similar to a support group facilitator. They let discussions flow among the participants and come in every so often with a professional’s opinion. They listen in on conversations and when they write a new blog post they make it clear that they’ve been listening. But they are very light handed about it. In this way they inspire my trust in the site. I know that if a participant offers dangerous advice or behaves badly in the group, someone with authority will step in. I see that there are products to purchase on the site, but it took me a couple of months to even notice them on the site. Now they feel more like helpful referrals rather than a commercial sales job.
I can compare my relationship with Amazon to the one I had with a restaurant manager at a local Indian restaurant. He listened to me and took an interest in my tastes beginning with my first meal there, expressed his interest in my dining experience, and eventually I went there every Tuesday night. I even let him bring my whatever mean he thought I’d enjoy. By listening and providing good service, he encouraged me to give him valuable information and to take an interest in his business. He never crossed a mutually recognized line in the relationship. For example, he never asked me about my deodorant usage.
I don’t want Amazon to ask either. I don’t want Amazon to act as my local drug store and outfitter and home improvement store. I’m happy to give them my ratings and views on books and music they have sold me, and I welcome suggestions from them. But I’m not comfortable with giving more. I think they’ve been successful selling items outside their original bookstore model, but not with me. Right now all that Amazon has going for it, from my perspective, is that has my credit card information and my wish list. It’s holding onto my patronage by it’s technological fingernails. I’ve decided to switch to using Powells.com because they understand the relationship I’m looking for.
All sorts of roles can be appropriate in social media. Perhaps you want to be the professor, the flirty friend, the really cool kid in high school, or an adviser. If you offer a calendaring service, it might even be fine for you to take on the role of a nagging mother. In a new campaign Kleenex has decided to try the role of a nurturing mother and it’s performing better than expected.
Now that I’ve talked about roles, I need to step back and make clear that it’s your customers, your users, your clients who get to take the lead in what roles you both play. You won’t get anywhere playing the doting wife if what they need is a reliable mechanic. You can’t be the attentive waiter if they want the efficient dental technician. If you do, they won’t return.
So instead of looking at what your product does and all its amazing qualities (which you do want clearly stated on your website), when you’re in social media spaces listen for what your desired customers want and need. It might eventually be your product, but you don’t push your product messages in those spaces. You chat over the fence, like you would with a neighbor. You find other ways to connect. And when the relationship has progressed and trust has been established, you can offer your services. The timing may be very short if you want to get attention for your funny short film or very long if you want to sell something personal like financial planning services.
You’ve learned how to fill many roles in the “real” world and what you’ve learned there really does translate. Your parents or teachers already taught you to be polite, to listen, to take your turn, and to offer assistance if you wanted to make friends.
